Coming Out During Interviews

I’m a recent college graduate and now job hunting. I’m writing because I’m not sure whether I should be coming out during job interviews, or not.

I don’t know if it will hurt or help my credentials if I’m out during the process and am also uncertain that the interviewers will gather that I’m a lesbian if I don’t say anything at all.

I feel frustrated that this is even a consideration, really, but am worried about money, about finding a job, about keeping a job and about being comfortable at said job.

Do you have any advice?

Auntie W replies:

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

I am always an advocate for coming out at every turn, when possible.

And I say “when possible” for those who can pass as straight, of course.

On one hand this is my Act Up activist advice, because coming out furthers visibility for every queer person on the job market, housing market, adoptive market and meat market, but on the other hand I also believe that coming out in the interview process will make it easier on you, personally, in the long run.

Coming out in the interview process will make it easier on you, personally, in the long run.

In other words, while you may perhaps land a job as the seemingly straight young lass, passing in an interview brings on a slew of other questions:

– Are you comfortable playing along in your interview?

– Would you be comfortable staying in the closet once you’re hired?

– If you can’t fake it on the job, how would you like to come out?

Alternately, are you willing to find out later that there is some problem with treatment, behaviour, or acceptance towards you if and when you do decide to then come out at work?
(Homophobia can happen either way, unfortunately – but coming out right at the get-go tends to make the potential of homophobes clearer.)

At any rate, these are all valuable questions that you ought to consider for yourself, personally, before making a final decision. However, as predictable as it may be, Auntie W never offers faking it as a good solution because it usually requires more faking it, which is then accompanied by misery.

That said, if you decide that you do want to come out during your interviews, I think the point of Homosexual Credential is quite valid.

Many companies do favour diversity, these days, and/or are interested in creating more diversity.
And while a genuine encouragement of your lesbian loving certainly is more exciting than a quota fill, a quota fill still points towards a hire, rather than a dismissal.

Additionally, consider applying for LGBT or LGBT-Friendly jobs to try and avoid these sorts of dynamics entirely – check your local queer mags for LGBT+ friendly companies.
Stonewall’s Workplace Equality Index 2014 is also a good place to start.

Anyway, love, I’m sure you’ll do great things with your career.
Just remember to send us a postcard!

Love always,

Auntie W

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