How do I know if my crush is gay?

One of the biggest dilemmas in the lesbian world is that girls are so much flirtier than guys. How are we meant to know if our crushes bat for the same team? In my experience girls make it obvious when it comes to making it clear that they like like you. However some girls can be trickier to decipher than others. Even the ones you might think are definitely gay might be in denial or just not ready to step out of that pesky closet, so here are some tips on how to work out your woman crush.

Firstly, does she flirt with you? If so, how does she flirt with you?

Does she go out of her way to impress you or spend time with you?

Talk about popular lesbian culture, go from innocent to more obvious things like “Did you like the L word?” to “What did you think was the hottest scene in it?” Her answers could help you determine whether she is indeed gay or nay.

Where does she hang out usually? Don’t go into stalker mode but find out if she hangs out in straight spots or spots popular among the LGBT community.

Another obvious one but just ask her out for a casual drink, if you made it obvious you are lesbian/bi chances are if you suggest going for coffee etc and she doesn’t play for your team, she will probably not want to lead you on by saying yes, not always but most of the time. Even if she does say yes, just study the nature of conversation you have, if she’s flirting, mentions “doing this again some time” or even suggests a more intimate date like scenario, chances are, she wants to be more than just friends.

Nail check, while the whole stereotype of lesbians shying away from long hair and make-up is dying, long nails are almost ALWAYS a give away that she’s straight, if you don’t know why, you’ve seen too much ‘lesbian’ porn aimed at straight guys.

Obvious signs, short hair, tomboy styles and interests, not all lez ladies fit this image but usually is a good indication they are gay if they do.

Does she talk about her past relationships? Does she agree with you on crushes or sit out on conversations in public involving ex boyfriends or that new Magic Mike movie? Conversations on crushes, relationships and flings as well as casual sex talks are obviously another indication as to whether she’s gay or not.

Remember, how she refers to the LGBT community might not give everything away, some lesbians are out and proud and never pass up a moment to big up Ellen Degeneres and Laura Prepon, but not all lesbians. That being said, do get her thoughts on the LGBT community when you mention it, her extensive support and/or knowledge of it could be a clear sign.

Ask her directly! Depending on how well you know her, if you have been flirting or spending a lot of time together it’s fair to say that it would be a normal to just ask her, most people wouldn’t get offended whatever their answer, we would like to think anyway.