Meeting Her parents for the first time during the Holiday season?

Movie plots can have a bad habit of making us expect the worst from meeting a partner’s parents for the first time. Haven’t there even been Christmas-themed movies about it? Yep, movies and TV will have us believing that meeting her folks will happen via a series of awkwardly humorous or downright painful events. We like to think that, whilst you might be nervous about meeting ‘the rents‘ for the first time, (because let’s face it, who isn’t?), it doesn’t always have to be an emotionally scarring experience. Here are our tips on how to make that first hang out go smoothly.

It’s important to gauge what kind of relationship your partner has with her parents. Is she at home and comfortable with them? Are they great about ‘the whole gay thing’ (as my parents say)? If so it is safer to assume that you will have a smooth ride. Sometimes it can be a little more complicated than that though. In many cases parents aren’t great about ‘the whole gay thing’ and in those cases the most important thing to remember is not to take that fact personally. Their adjustment to their daughter’s sexuality will need to happen whether you are there or not and you, however wonderful you are, can’t speed that up because coming around to things is a slow, organic process.

Do your homework before you meet them. Get the ‘lo down’ on what is/isn’t allowed. Check with your girlfriend whether you can be tactile in front of them. Are PDAs accepted in her family home? If not be respectful of that. We agree, you shouldn’t have to hide your affections for the person you love, but sometimes the gentle approach pays. The more they get used to you the more displays of physical affection will feel natural.
And don’t forget, you are meeting HER parents, so there is nothing wrong with letting her lead.  If she puts her hand on your leg then take this is a sign that mum and dad are OK with that.  She’s not going to do anything to make them feel uncomfortable. This meeting is just as important to her as it is to you.

If conversation feels a tad stale, why not take the lead and use this as an opportunity to get to learn as much about her parents as your can. Ask her parents about their home, their careers, where they enjoy spending spare time. Ask them about your partner’s childhood (although that might make her cringe). You probably know all this already, but questions like these are good base questions from which to build. If they have any holiday traditions that you aren’t familiar with, get stuck in with them! It’s far better to take part than be sat in the corner of the room where you risk becoming the party pooper of the season.

It’s normal to feel proud of your relationship and all of its details (well, maybe leave out some of the, [cough], more intimate information) so talk about how you both met, what you bonded over, places you have been together or things you have done together. Why not go that extra mile and get them a present to say thanks for having you over?

They’ll want to get to know you too don’t forget.  Where you are from, what you do, what your hobbies are… It’s almost like an interview isn’t it?  But the good thing about this is that you already have the job.