Where To Meet Women Who May Like Women…

Now yes, we all know that you can log onto GaydarGirls and find a girlfriend, a friend or an adoptive Grandmother if we so wish, and that is a feeling as good as eating candy floss for breakfast.

But if you’re out and about around the city, don’t miss the opportunities to meet single girls, hot girls and the Natalie Portman lookalike girls that might be around the place.

How to meet women in the gym…

Gyms can be tricky because amongst all the tracksuits, the pony tails and the musky smell of Calvin Klein, it’s difficult to tell who’s straight, who’s gay, who’s bi and who’s drunk.

First let’s look at the actual exercise.

A treadmill can really help you out with this because if a girl has put on a walking pace and is swaggering along winking then you might be in.

You need to also look out for girls who have refused to take their chinos off and are stuck on the exercise ball because they can’t bend their legs.
Or the ones flying off the bike machine because their TOMS slipped off.

All things to note down in your lesbian book.

Gym’s can be very sexual.

The sweat, the compromising positions on the leg curler or the Walrus slash orgasm noises you make lifting weights.

When it comes to approaching her you’ve got to make sure you’re not covered in sweat and make-up  you have a conversation start up ready and you’re not just about to collapse.

Standing there staring while wiping eye-liner down your cheek before being taken away on a stretcher is not the best first impression you can give.

Compliments are difficult in a gym as the outcome can be different every time.

You could go up a fine woman and say:

‘You’re looking good on that treadmill,’

and she could smile, play with her hair and talk about drinks with you.

But then you could go up to someone else, say exactly the same thing and get slapped, kicked and bitten because they have ‘self esteem issues.’

So tread carefully. It’s like stepping on a hamster and hoping he comes out of it alive.

Saying:

‘ You’ve lost a ton of weight!’

or

‘You looked good doing the downward facing dog position,’

will never work.

Another way to talk to women in a gym is to give them advice on what they’re doing.

What would be a better workout to work that muscle, why they should speed up on the bike, why they should tie their hair back so it doesn’t get caught in the fan again. That sort of thing.

But never be too critical.

No one needs to hear that everything they’re doing is wrong and that their life is basically a mess.

Know where your targets lie.

Yes the girl in the silver boob tube might be stunning, but if she’s got her ear phones in, she’s staring intently at the screens or she’s pointedly looking the other way, you might as well chat up an orange.

If they’re wearing actual running trainers or have anything with the word Nike written on them, they will only be there to exercise.

Or they’re chavs.
In which case stay clear of both.

Actually do some exercise when you’re there.

I know this is a terrifying thought.
Especially if you’re all dressed up in your short shorts and tight t-shirt all ready to pull.

But if you don’t do anything and continuously hit on people you can look like a proper stalker.
And no one wants that on their CV.

Try and look like your belong.

Which probably means acting nothing like yourself and pretending that you enjoy running.
It’s a challenge, but if you manage to get into the sauna with someone with a body like Jessica Ennis then it’s worth it.

It might even be Jessica Ennis.
I’m sure she works out sometimes…

Effi Mai writes at FemmeFace, she wears stripy and spotty dresses a lot of the time, loves tequila, unicorns and dancing with glitter. When she’s not busy writing, she’s one half of event organising duo MissFit.