Can You Go From Lovers to Friends?

When a couple splits up it’s usually the friendship they miss more than anything.

They miss the person because that’s who they told everything to, who they shared all their secrets and spent all their time with watching CSI and eating jacket potatoes.

This often leads to attempting to be friends straight after the breakup but it’s a difficult thing to do and there’s a lot of niggly points to consider.

How you broke up can affect the situation more than anything.

If your ex had an affair with your neighbour, got you into debt by playing online bingo, opened a cat sanctuary in your house or liked the Go Compare singing man, then chances are your breakup was a messy one. It would be a lot easier but not many couples end things amicably with a hug and a sandwich.

Most end up in fighting, hatred and swinging cats at each other.

It can also be impossible if one is still in love with the other.

She could be fine with the whole thing whereas you are eating your nineteenth cupcake and crying into a life-size cut out of her.

If she suggests friends you’re probably going to say yes because you’ll think there’s a chance for you to get back together and you can spend a lot of time around her smelling her and accidentally brushing up against her.

This creepy stage is best to be avoided.

It’s not possible to go straight into being friends.

It will be a frustrating time where you can’t say anything to them about anything and you think you’re fine until they’re dating someone again and you want to hit her with the nearest hard or sharp object.

Any tiny little thing that you found endearing when you were dating, now pisses you off to the point of wanting to hurl custard over their head.

You have to have some time apart to remember who you were as a single person and not a twosome that did everything together.

If you were friends before you dated it can be a little easier to slip back into what you know.

As long as you’re not still ‘casually’ sharing each other’s bed. The same goes if you weren’t dating that long.
You can realize pretty quickly that some girls are better as friends and not marriage material.

A girl who arrives home late every night in a short dress after slamming the tequila with a shoe missing a very good girlfriend. She will make one hell of a friend though.

If you ever do get to the stage when you’re friends…

It’s rarely going to be like other friendships because you won’t confide in each other as much. You can’t very well tell her that you have just had the best sex of your life because she’ll be insulted.

And you can’t say that the girl fancied for six months has finally asked you out because she’ll get insulted again. Because you were still dating six months before. Maintaining a good friendship if you have to tiptoe around each other can be really hard.

If it’s up to you, make sure you’re not trying to be friends to ease the guilt, because you’re using it as an excuse not to move on or simply because it’s simpler.

If you are not done with the relationship or you aren’t quite broken up because there are various factors such as children or hamsters involved, then it’s also quite impossible.

But it can work if you both work at a friendship and leave your hurt, annoyance and crocs at the door.

Unless there’s some sort of restraining order involved, as a friendship might be a tad difficult…

Effi Mai writes at FemmeFace, she wears stripy and spotty dresses a lot of the time, loves tequila, unicorns and dancing with glitter. When she’s not busy writing, she’s one half of event organising duo MissFit.

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