I Think My Wife is Attracted To Other Women…

I’m married to a lovely woman…

We’re mid thirties, we’ve got a nice home, a wonderful daughter and we’re very comfortable.
However, I’m 90% sure my wife is more attracted to other women.

As much as I don’t want this to be true, I just want her to be happy.
I’ve tried approaching it a few ways and ended up confirming my suspicions, but she still has not acted on it. I think she desperately needs to meet some gay women, but I’ve got no idea how I can introduce any into her life!

Any help is appreciated!

Auntie GG responds:

Well hello there, caring and thoughtful husband.
Sounds like you’re really doing your research.

However, there is a difference between “approaching it a few ways” and asking (albeit gently) outright.  If you have definitely confirmed that your wife has a penchant for the ladies, do bear in mind that bisexuality is possible, and also, that she chose you.

Before you start dipping her in chocolate and throwing her to the lesbians, there are some things to consider:

Are you both happy and fulfilled in your relationship?

This ranges from emotional to sexual needs –is she pulling away from you?  Is that why you think she is lusting after the girls?  Think about where your suspicions are coming from, and whether could they just be normal marriage problems that need talking through.

Next, you have to be aware that in your quest to introduce her to gay women, that if indeed she is more attracted to other women, something might happen… and not in a “good heavens, she wants to invite another attractive lady around for a sleepover with us” way, in a marriage ending kind of way.

Are you prepared for that?

It doesn’t really matter what the reasons behind your suspicions are, because the solution is the same; you need to talk about the pink elephant in the room openly, honestly and directly.

It isn’t (although you are very sweet to suggest it) your job to hook your wife up to the lesbian network because she, presumably, has the internet too and can do it for herself (hello www.gaydargirls.com).

There are plenty of meet-up groups and social events to choose from if she chooses to embrace her supposed sexuality (hello www.gaydargirls.com).

The best thing you can do (if you really, really want to do this), is point her our way and let her chat to us (have we mentioned www.gaydargirls.com?).

Good Luck.

Yours faithfully,

Auntie GG x

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