I’m Finding It Hard To Orgasm…

I am 38. The last time myself and partner had sex I found it very hard to orgasm.
Since then we haven’t had sex in a long time until last night and the same thing happened.

We have been together 13 years and very much want each other emotionally and sexually, she turns me on and vice versa. I just don’t know what to do any more.

I am diabetic and have suffered with thrush a couple times and that has cleared and hoping that has nothing to do with it.

Auntie GG replies:

Hi there,

Well, whether you’re 18 or 38, an orgasm first starts in your head.
If you can’t get out of your head, it’s no wonder the orgasm isn’t following.

You said yourself you love and find your partner attractive, so that’s half the battle.
Now you’ve got to keep reminding yourself that the feeling is mutual. She finds you just as hot.
Well done you.

It strikes me here that you’ve had sex the once and it wasn’t what you expected, you waited a while, worried incessantly about it, tried again and couldn’t reach it.

And there’s your problem.
You’re worrying about it.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that there is not a single person out there that has an orgasm every time they have sex.

Also, not every sexual adventure has to end in an orgasm for it to be satisfying.
Sometimes the fun can be had in the build-up – just because you haven’t hit the big-O twice doesn’t mean your lady parts are now defunct.

Neither of your two medical conditions should physically prevent you from coming to orgasm, but again, worrying about them or residual soreness could.

The first step is talking to your partner about how you’re feeling, and what you’re not feeling.

Communicating in bed is also a must, directing her to what feels good, telling her what you want and listening to her enjoy herself are all stepping stones towards an orgasm.

You need to lose yourself in these intimate moments together and it will, pardon the pun, come naturally.

Basically, you need to relax.
This isn’t a disaster, it doesn’t spell the end of your sex life and it is something you can absolutely get over. T

he only thing that makes it so hard is that to fix it, you have to stop thinking about it.
Isn’t that the worst?

Long story short: Talk. Turn off your brain. Go to bed.

Enjoy all the sex,

Your Auntie GG


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