She Lied To Me…

Dear Auntie GG,

I thought I snagged a total babe, but then I snagged her in a lie!

We’ve started only two months ago, and this was our first hair raising argument – most frustrating!

She thinks she didn’t lie because she just “left it off”, but what she “left off” turns out to be a something that she knew I would dislike, which involved meeting up with her former sleazy snog-toy!

I sniffed out her shoddy story and then the fighting began!

She eventually admitted that she thought it would upset me, so she just didn’t happen to mention it – even though she mentioned everything else about her day!

She said she won’t do it again, and she’s a nice person, but I doubt I ought to believe someone who has just told me a load of bull! I don’t think I can ever really trust her again, even though she has asked me to. But before she becomes my former sleazy snog-toy, I wanted to ask what you think.

Any worthy exceptions to the no lying rule?

Auntie GG replies:

While there are many very nice people – and very nice snog-toys! – in the world, the nicest people to date are those who do not quit before you come, and those who do not intentionally deceive you.

The relationship between the two?

Both display plenty of self-serving concern for their own needs – and none for yours!

Sure, some people get fussy about what counts as lying, but at the core, lying is what happens when one person intentionally manipulates the truth to make another believe something that is false.

Notably, whether this is done by omission or by point-blank telling an untruth matters little – either way, the liar chooses to strip the other person of the right to consent to living with (or leaving because of) the real truth.

As for those who lie to ‘avoid conflict’ – there is no conflict quite as awful as the one which brews after uncovering the lie!

Of course, there are differing opinions about worthy exceptions to lying, and often it comes down to intent, and subject.

Is her intent to make you feel bad by telling you that she loves your new jumper when she only thinks it’s average?

Of course not!

In this way, there are certainly different types of privacy that genuinely do no harm.

But lying itself does set you up for harm, and you of course deserve a lover who understands that you’re bound to feel bad because she lied to you – no matter the actual truth of the encounter.

As for a second chance, it is true that everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes people really do learn.

However, one word of caution from your etiquette guide:
While the lack of an orgasm rarely leads to another, the presence of a lie almost always comes in multiples.

Love always,

Your Auntie GG

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