Desperate Makeover

Dear Auntie,

I am in need of a desperate makeover.

I am 24 and came out two years ago and I still look like a frumpy straight girl.

I was uncomfortable being straight and didn’t want to stand out, but now I do want to look like a queer and particularly fancy the men’s styles but have no idea how to start dressing in men’s fashion.

I’ve been dressing without attention and I feel like a wallflower and I am ready to make a change, but don’t know how.

I don’t really know where to shop or what to buy and I’ve never really paid that much attention before, but I want to change my behaviour and my look. So please help me figure out how to do it!

Auntie GG replies:

Congratulations, puppet!

You’ve just joined the ranks of serious homosexuals, love, because any homo worth their salt knows that a good aesthetic goes a long way towards making first impressions, opening doors and undoing pants.

And auntie GG happens to love helping people figure out how to do it – particularly when it comes to what to put on and what to take off.

So, you are in just the right place at the right time and the next step is getting you into (and out of) the right clothes.

Now, changing and updating one’s look can always present challenges, be they matters of taste, matters of opinion, or matters of finance – but there are three crucial areas that will help you become exactly the self made dyke of your dreams: Clothes, Hair, and Accessories. And in your case,  you are in an exciting and rare position in that you do not have a current look to which you are already committed – which means that you are a free agent and can play around with whatever you chose.

I recommend starting with studying some men’s fashion, anything from GQ magazine to the telly, and figuring out what you find compelling.

Do you get excited over Fred Perry shirts?

What about skinny jeans?

Same goes for hair and accessories – do you like your hair spiked, shagged, buzzed?

(Grab a photo and off to your neighbourhood barber or salon you go.)

Do you like wallets and jewellery that call attention, piercings, or none?

Figure out what you like, and then it’s on to the acquiring.

Shopping in urban areas will likely be the easiest experience, with the widest varieties of clothing, sizes and sales staff who’ve met a woman who wants to wear men’s clothes before.

That said, there are some differences in men’s and women’s sizing, and of course there are also often differences in the shapes of men’s and women’s bodies – so find the right manufacturers for you.
(EBay is also great for second hand finds, as well as for finds in the smaller and larger sizes that can be tough to find in stores.)

Lastly, bring a trusted mate shopping for that second opinion and the camera on your mobile, which never lies, for the third.

Most importantly, have fun and find the looks that make you feel good.

Oh, and if you happen to try something on and think to yourself: “I’d sleep with her!” you know it’s time to purchase.

Love,

Your Auntie GG

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