Friends With Benefits?

It’s the phrase that if you’re really not into the whole, “commitment thing”, you really want to hear.

And the phrase that, if you’re ‘totally-in-psychotic-stalk-on-the-internet-love’ with the person in question, you never want to hear:

The Phrase: ‘Fuck buddies’.

Otherwise known as sex buddies, or ‘friends with benefits’.
This means when two friends or acquaintances who use each other for sex and are allowed to do anything else with anyone else and act single.

I know some people will be horrified with the idea and can only imagine having the sort of rose-petals-sweet-kisses-kind-of-making-love in their lives. Others will be thinking this is the most brilliant solution to: sex that doesn’t come in the form of a battery device.

If you are considering getting into this sort of arrangement make sure you both want it and one isn’t secretly cutting out pictures of the other and sticking them up on a love shine.

The two people have to have an unattached attitude towards the whole thing. And of course you have to find them attractive and have some sort of chemistry with them, I mean yes someone might be available for you, but if they look like they should live under a bridge it’s not really going to work.

Normally I would say don’t let the person sleep over.
Because you might start doing the dreaded S’s:



or “Snuggling”.

These are not part of the sex buddy deal.
These are things you do with a long term girlfriend or a pet tortoise.

The best thing about it is that it is no strings so you should be able to try new things with them.
If you’ve got a weird fetish that you would like to do like dressing up as a penguin or pretending they’re a dwarf from snow white then this is the creative time and the place.

Try and find someone who doesn’t live too far away.
There is no point feeling horny and having to wait for your fuck buddy to drive from Skegness if you live in Bolton. The urge will probably have gone or you would have settled it with something that buzzes.

Jealousy needs to stay at the door when it comes to this.
Yes the sex might be completely out-of-this-world shaking-the-earth amazing and you may be screaming the house down, but they might be having that same sex with someone else.

And you can’t go in to that other bitch’s house and have a fit that would put Mariah to shame, because it’s not allowed. And you don’t want to look desperate either, like people who pose naked in their Facebook pictures or those who have more than twelve cats.

I’m not saying this is for everyone.
If you see sex and love as the same thing, then don’t even bother.
And especially if you have that fairy-tale-Disney attitude of:

“If we just have sex now it might blossom into a beautiful marriage…”

It won’t.

But if you have that the-company-would-fall-to-bits-without-me type of job or are too busy in your life to even internet date and need a release that doesn’t come in a box: then this might be the answer.

Effi Mai writes at FemmeFace, she wears stripy and spotty dresses a lot of the time, loves tequila, unicorns and dancing with glitter. When she’s not busy writing, she’s one half of event organising duo MissFit.



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