How to get over your ex

We’ve all been there, crying into an oversized tub of Cherry Garcia while watching 500 Days of Summer and screaming “What’s the point anyway?” at the TV. However there are some rational ways to help you get over your ex, even when you’re at your most irrational.

DO reach for the chocolate. Yes, oh yes, this is your free pass to do just that. According to studies chocolate releases the same endorphins as sex does to create a feeling of happiness and relief. So as long as you don’t devour an entire Cadbury’s factory, indulging yourself with that family size bar of Galaxy may just help the pain, temporarily at least.

Surround yourself with the single friends. Any friends are fine, even the ones in happy relationships, but while the wound is fresh, single friends will help you forget whatshername for sure. Whether it’s in the form of a night in with wine and movies or a night out at a club you wouldn’t usually be caught dead in, friends are the light and the way.

DON’T go to the same bars/clubs as your ex. We already know the lesbian world is like that Disney ride, ‘it’s a small world after all’. You know you will probably bump into your ex there because chances are, she’s trying to drown her own break-up sorrows in dance and drink. Save yourself the trouble of seeing her by steering clear of the places you know you will find her.

Don’t stalk her on social media. Yes, it’s irrational, yes we know that, yes you know that and we all know it’s such a huge temptation, but seriously it’s only damaging you. You are more than likely to come across an upbeat status such as ‘Having more fun than I have done in a long time’ or ‘So crazy when you look back at a time in your life and see how poisonous it was.’ Chances are your ex is just saying these things to cover up her own sadness and, even though these kinds of status’ aren’t always true, they hurt to see. Also, seeing her in a picture with that new girlfriend for the first time is like being stabbed in the heart.

Accept that you are going to talk about the breakup to people and that it’s ok. Some people might get bored quickly of you talking about your ex but if they are good friends they should understand that it’s clearly just part of your personal healing process and it’s fine. Don’t beat yourself up about it either, I know girls who have spoken about their ex for three years running, making them feel bad isn’t the way to go about helping them move on, especially when you would want people to listen to you when you go through the same experience.

Convincing yourself that listening to ‘Go your own way’ at 3am while downing a bottle of Jacob’s Creek IS a good idea. You know what, yeah you might wake up the next day with a hangover, wine all over your white v neck and your cat giving you looks that suggest ‘you need to get your shit together’ but it’s all part of the healing process.

Funny videos on Youtube are like a lifeline. We know that video of the panda sneezing is old news now but it’s just so funny. My personal favourite post break-up animal video is the baby sloths making adorable noises because it honestly is impossible to be sad when a sloth is in sight.

Those TV box sets of The L Word and Lip Service that are getting dusty could use some love right about now, and watching them three times in a row is perfectly ok too.

Don’t feel bad when you do start to feel happy again or if you quickly feel ready to start dating again. Life is short. Move on when you feel the time is right and don’t wait because you think other people will judge you for doing so.