Getting Over Her…

Getting over your ex is never easy.
This is the girl you thought you would be with until you were crippled in a home together sharing grapes.

But she wasn’t the one.
And getting that into your head and stopping yourself crying over her, shoving tubs of Ben and Jerry’s down your throat is a tricky matter.
There’s loads of sayings about getting over people:

  • “It will take half the time that you were together to forget about her”
  • “It will take the time you were together plus half to stop thinking about her”
  • “It will take the time you were together time three plus a unicorn to throw away her ducks”

Ignore these

The time it takes to get over your ex will depend on you and your actions:

Be Around People

Ok so your ex might not love you anymore but that is just one person.
You have your friends, your family and the friendly milkman who will all be there for you when you need them offering support, advice, hugs and milk.

Spending time with these people can be the key to getting over someone because they can always make you feel better.
Go shopping with your friends, pick up a new outfit and then dance the night away with them.
Nothing can remind you more of the great friends you have when you’re all singing and dancing the moves you know by heart to Steps.

Stop the Contact

If you’re not over her and you are hoping for some sort of reconciliation involving kisses and butterflies then you can’t be friends.

Being friends is mainly what couples do when they don’t want to move on.
Seeing her will only make you feel like someone took out your heart and lawnmowered over it. And seeing her with someone will tempt you to actually take that lawnmower and do some serious damage.

Try avoid texting and ringing.
You’ll probably do this if you’re out or if you’ve had a few baileys with breakfast.

Drunk texting is a very dangerous thing. Lives get ruined with drunk texting.
Don’t take the phone out, give it to someone to look after or get your cat to hide it in the flat somewhere.

Focus on Better things

To avoid wallowing in your own misery and watching the same episode of Lword on repeat, focus on something else:

  • You could join a gym and put your anger into your running or squat thrusts.
  • You could plan how you’re going to get ahead at work or how you could finally set up that candyfloss selling business you’ve always dreamed of.
  • You could also get a hobby like sewing or teapot pottery where you can join a club and meet people probably in the same boat as you.
  • Or the same teapot.
  • You will have a lot of free time to do these things, you can concentrate on your new project and you don’t have to sit at home planning on how to kill your ex with items in your freezer.

Rebounding means just that

A rebound is a one night thing.
If you think this will make you feel better then do it. But a rebound does not mean another full blown relationship.

You will inevitably try and get the new girl to look, act, talk and BE your ex.
It’s not fair on the other person if she really likes you and you’re calling her by your exes name and making her wear a blonde wig.

There are lots more fish in the sea.
You just have to wait a bit before officially fishing.

Avoid the Reminders

When it comes to hobbies or things to fill your time, don’t things that remind you of your ex.
She will be stuck in your head and this can be really dangerous.

Take water sports as an example.
You will attempt to get better at kayaking, all the while thinking that you might bump into her on the same river, and then you’ll get all flustered thinking about her in a wet wet suit and then bam, you’ve drowned.
Dangerous. Stick to the teapots.

Moving on

Admitting that you’re single is harder than opening a cream egg wrapper without ripping it.
You need to do it slowly, gently and don’t let anyone do it for you.

It can take some time to get over someone so you can’t expect to be miraculously cured overnight but the friends, the milkman and the teapots can all help.

One day, when you’re sitting in your home with a wife and many babies and tortoises, you won’t even remember her name .

Effi Mai writes at FemmeFace, she wears stripy and spotty dresses a lot of the time, loves tequila, unicorns and dancing with glitter. When she’s not busy writing, she’s one half of event organising duo MissFit.



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  1. aj

    Thank you, just What I needed. x

  2. Amy

    god this gurl is funny. Her stuff is so true and yet I’m laughing. Wicked article.

  3. Kyren

    I’m struggling to get over my ex, she cheated on me & broke up a week ago, however I’m in her house still as all my friends are 160 miles away – I can’t afford to move out yet either. I just can’t cope.. X

  4. This a great. I met my ex on Gaydar girls, after 6 years I realised she wasn’t the one. We broke up, I handled the break up by writing ‘Not Breaking When You’re Broken. A survival guide to break ups! I became an overnight a guru on break ups and started helping people in the UK and USA through their break ups. Replying to emails and comments on my you tube channel helped me forget about my pain, helping others became my calling!

    Before I knew it I had moved on with my life, I met a new lady and i’m very happy.

    If your going though a break up or know someone who is, suggest my ebook, it is helping people everywhere. 🙂

  5. This is great!

    I met my ex on gaydar girls, we split after 6 years. My way of coping with the break up was to write a book on how to survive a break up. Within a year I had finished the book and published it online. ‘Not Breaking When You’re Broken’ was born and instantly started to help people in the UK and US through their break ups!

    I soon became a guru on the subject, regularly responding to emails and comments on my video channel. Before I knew it I had moved on from my break up, I didn’t have time to think about me anymore, I was too busy helping others. Its good to know there is more than you out there feeling everything you are feeling.

    If you are going through a break up or know someone who is, please read or suggest Not Breaking When You’re Broken to them.

    Best of luck and best wishes, it does get easier – I promise! x

  6. Isabella

    Grazie! I have been having a hard time forgetting my coeur. It has took me 3 years and yes she was my special girl… but now, that i always get reminders that time is really precious by family friends who died. That a broken heart gets healed if you keep your head up, on a brighter way. And i have thrown everything away that would remind me of her. Still i do think of her, but i hope we both will be fine.

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